Life was as smooth as streaming a youtube video advert free on kicked up wifi. Nice. As with any good story though, there must be a reality tearing, punch to the face it's so true realisation. It was the seventh of may, a beautiful... I was adopted. Sorry, That's the important part. I, Paul, had been adopted at a young age. I could't believe it. My mother and father were bewildered I had never caught on. They said it was "quite obvious" and found my melodramatic reaction somewhat confusing. They tried so hard to explain everything away "We're human, and… you are clearly a robot. Groovatron 2000 model to be more precise. It says so on the lower edge of your torso chassis!"
Whatever. All these years I though I was just born with a sweet tatt. The ladies love a sweet tatt. But apparently the story of how I ended up where I am now is that some robocouple ordered me off of Ebay, but could't pay the shipping. I was sent back to the warehouse where there was some minor damage inflicted upon my groove modulator not covered by warranty. You know what else isn't covered by warranty? My GREAT sense of humour. In any case my price was slashed and I was gobbled up by my now Mum and Dad (I guess there was some truth to the story that babies are brought home by the FedEx guy). They unpacked me mint from the box, which only served to increase my value thank you, and I've been chillin mother flippin villain ever since.
Until now that is.
After this whole "We've only loved you for the past fifteen years because we got you for three easy instalments of $29.99" crap (my words, not theirs), I decided I needed a change. I promptly got on the first ride out of town and headed into the big city to find myself. Of course I didn't go alone. My bromo sapien Arthur was eager for an adventure. As fast as I could say "let's go" I got an enthusiastic "affirmative". And so we were off like the most hip bandits you can imagine. The beginning of great things lie ahead of us. The GREATEST things…
